Dear Pop Culture References,

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You grace the tongues of my favourite characters, often with flawless comedic timing. There is a ting of pleasure from recognition that follows, as my mind makes the jump, from plot holes to hyperbole. A witty distraction that lends layers to dialogue, I’m surprised you aren’t used more often.

Perhaps the excess will cause one to question the interest generated by a split-second line. Why do I feel so informed when I know the name of the latest host of Punk’d? I shouldn’t. It’s not like that piece of info is affecting lives in a way that the recent act of shooting in Connecticut is.

As the last thought crosses my mind, I do a double take. Because, such seemingly frivolous things as TV shows are still affecting lives, perhaps saving lives, often with the power of laughter. With the occasional overlap it doesn’t make much sense to compare the two of you either, so what am I doing?

I won’t deny myself simple pleasures where I can get them, and if I’m drawn to less serious things I will stop apologising for it. You give me relief in a way that news reports can’t. Credit is due to those with playful acumen who spawn cultural references. Take the triple whammy that was ad-libbed by one Emma Stone- “Because I’m not a Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley with Traveling Pants.”

 

Signed,

Selectively Informed Anna

 

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Letters Between an Antique and a Future Antique

Dear Antique, a.k.a, Vintage Telephone,

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I seem to be exploding to new heights of popularity and sophistication on a daily basis, but there’s always the sense of being on the verge of a breakthrough. I’m overwhelmed and excited, trying to make sense of what’s happening to me and around me.

You’ve lived through a similar thing, as I recall. How did you handle all the attention and pressure?

Sincerely,
Future Antique(iPhone)

 

Dear Future Antique(iPhone),

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I appreciate you coming to me for advice. Let me begin by saying “Never assume that you are irreplaceable.” You can be modified and spruced up to suit the tastes of a new generation, but your era will end, as did mine. Your sign-off indicates that you are already aware of this, but there will be times when you have to forcefully remind yourself.

Remember how much you owe your maker. In my case it’s Alexander Graham Bell, and in yours, Steve Jobs. Of course, it’s never that simple and we owe those who came before them and made their inventions possible.

You’ve probably already faced the crusty side of your job- having had to work with countless apps. Enjoy the fun bits, the fashion, the fame, and the fortune. You should make the most out of your time at the top, but still be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. With great power comes the almighty paparazzi. Which, by the way, you shouldn’t attempt to fight or even remotely dream of avoiding. They will find you. Just ask K. Stew. They will also do great things for you, when it suits them, or when they are forced to by the public.

At this point, it comes down to how good you are at being an instrument of communication. You’ve already got your big break, so you can stop living in wait. That is, unless the suspense drives you, in which case, continue picturing the carrot being just inches away.

Wisely,
Antique

P.S- Since my opinion apparently means something, I think you have plenty of time to prepare to be exploited for your age on eBay.