Dear Nostalgia,

Why must you torment me so? You hit me when I, quite frankly, have no time for you, and I always cave- you know I do. You are the bittersweet longing that can never be satisfied, no matter how deep I bury my nose in your depths.

I don’t want to live in the past, even in my happy version of it. It’s far too beautiful and perfect to be real, and I know I’m just fooling myself. Memory is a skilled trickster and has many minions.
Of course, you have plenty of help besides your cousin- so many dangerous triggers quite apart from childhood anecdotes that are brought up during conversation.

Usually, when I revisit old favourite TV shows, songs, scents, and whatnot, I find myself still enamoured by them, notwithstanding obvious bias. Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by a sense of despair and I wonder…Why did I expose myself to such things at such a crucial time in my life?

But, let’s face it, I barely had a chance. As a kid, everything in the world is in a race to get to you first, to win the privilege of shaping you, your personality, and your life. To claim the right to dictate your future likes and dislikes forevermore, even indirectly.

For such reasons, I obviously can’t despise you without despising who and what I am today, and contrary to what some people might believe, I have a healthy ego. Self-deprecation is just too fun to sacrifice is all. I know, I’m an expert at deviation. I blame the somewhat forced eclecticism I gained as a child.

Sincerely,                                                                                                                         Always Anna

“Nostalgia was better in the old days.”- a T-shirt

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A Letter by “A Little Princess”

Foreword

“A Little Princess” was one of my favourite books growing up. Right alongside “The Secret Garden” and “Little Lord Fauntleroy”. Frances Hodgson Burnett’s honest, adorable style of writing just spoke to my heart. This letter is a tribute to her, and lost innocence.

Background

For those who haven’t read the novel(yet!), all you need to know is:

The story is about Sara Crewe, a young girl, whose father is a soldier stationed in India. She is sent to London for a formal education and handles the sudden change with maturity beyond her years. Emily is her doll.

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Dear Papa,

I have been talking to Emily about you. I told her all about our last conversation together. She had to stop herself from smiling, or her secret would have been out.

But I know she listens. Her eyes tell me she does. So now even she carries you in her heart, and makes sure I don’t miss you too much.

You might think Emily is my only companion. She is certainly more than a doll. But, I have made two close friends who can talk in my presence(Emily can’t afford to break the rules or she would no longer be a doll).

Ermengarde is a lovely girl whom I met on the first day, after French class. Don’t worry, Papa. I explained that I didn’t need to take French.

I am helping Ermie with her lessons. There are few things I enjoy more than telling her stories about the French Revolution and the Bastille, to help her remember. Her eyes light up and when she does well in class I feel so proud. There is also something satisfying in helping someone, a friend. She is very sweet and lends me books that her papa sends her.

I have also adopted a small girl called Lottie. She likes yelling, which makes Miss Minchin angry. She doesn’t listen to anyone who tries to calm her down except me. I think it’s because I know the kind of stories she likes.

Thank you for Mariette, Papa. I like her very much and I think she likes me. I have started to do some things by myself so she doesn’t have too much trouble.

I think of you often and fondly remember our home with all the wonderful memories. Then I imagine you being brave on the field and know that I can manage being away from you.

Love,
Your little missus