Battle of Wits: Me Vs. The (dreaded, and oh-so horrific) FLU

The Flu: Hmmm…do I, or do I not invade you?

Me: I sometimes willed it, in school when classes weren’t as interesting, but not now, please. I happen to like college.

The Flu: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Me: I can’t afford to miss a class! So much happens every time.

The Flu: You’re looking at this all wrong. I could give you a chance to work on the assignments you keep complaining about.

Me: There’s a difference between procrastinating when healthy and when sick.

The Flu: I’m sure there’s also a difference between healthy procrastination and unhealthy procrastination. (sly glance)

Me: Cryptic is not a good colour on you.

The Flu: I suppose I’ll stick to mucous-green.

Me: You do look phlegm-tastic on most days.

The Flu: I’m not even going to ask about the exceptions you’re imagining.

Me: You know, “most days” I have no idea what you look like, so I’m being uncharacteristically optimistic.

The Flu: Gee, thanks.

Me: You don’t really care about my opinion, do you? You’re one of the most influenzal people I know.

The Flu: I suppose asking you to keep that one bottled up would have been too much.

Me: Okay, okay…I’ll give it a rest….which is what people need when you bump into them. (twinkling eyes)

The Flu: Alright, make room in your head for less funny thoughts. I’m coming over.

Me: No!

(The Flu marches towards Anna)

Me: I didn’t want to have to do this….but my hand’s been forced. Bring on the tea over-load!

Led by Commanders Spearmint and Rooibos.


Battle of Wits: Seven Wonders

 Seven iconic places fight for the top spot among the wonders of the world. Let’s hear what each one has to say.

Eiffel Tower: I am by far the most elegant symbol of a country, besides being one of the tallest. I represent art, industry and science.

Leaning Tower of Pisa: You were only the tallest for forty years, and how many of those were spent toying with gravity?

Great Wall of China: It doesn’t take much to stand in one place and look pretty. Have any of you been able to protect your country from intruders?

Taj Mahal: Some things are more important than war. Like the love a Mughal king had for his dead wife, when he was inspired to build me.

Grand Canyon: Being a giant tomb is never a selling point. Carrying nearly two billion years of geological history in every rocky curve is.

Great Pyramid of Giza: You’re an overblown hole. I’ll have you know, being chosen as The tomb for an important person is an honor. Holding treasure was a short-term perk.

The Colosseum: I seem to be the only one with no thought of materialistic pride. I have witnessed bloodbaths, survived earthquakes and been used as a quarry. My middle name is “Courage”, which is what I give to those who seek me out in connection with their religion.


None of them won the battle.


Here, in my opinion, are the real seven wonders of the world:






The colour Black

The Internet





Death, or more specifically, Mortality